Why take my word for it when you could hear from the truest wedding expert of them all? Emily Post was the queen of etiquette, and weddings were and still are well recognized as a place to practice her rules. Etiquette is often the backbone of every wedding tradition, and in the spirit of weddings, it wouldn’t be fair to ignore them here.
I wanted to start by relaying what she says about choosing a color scheme, but ironically enough, this is one of the few things she created structure for. She simply says that this is a choice that can come from the season, the flowers, the formality of the occasion, or anything else. So couples, have fun being creative, and don’t let anyone else stop you, since Emily sure won’t!
Instead I will talk about the ever popular topic of $$$$$. Who traditionally pays for the wedding? I once thought the answer was as simple as “the bride’s parents” too, but it’s not. Here is a simplified version of Emily’s list.
My favorite part of this way of laying out the cost is the symbolism I see in what the groom pays for. It reminds me of the phrase “chivalry isn’t dead.” The groom traditionally pays for the vital parts of the wedding. Not that the rest of the wedding isn’t important, but without what he pays for you’ve just got yourself a fancy party. He covers the officiant fee, the marriage license, and just because he is a gentlemen, he pays for all the flowers for the brides and honored females. He also pays for the honeymoon. To me it is symbolic of a man taking on the role of supporting another person (not that the woman can’t do that as well). It’s only a gesture, but it’s definitely a sweet one.
Even though this is what Emily says, it’s not set in stone. The best way to determine who is paying for what is to sit down and have an honest conversation with everyone involved. It is important to remember that no family member is required to pay for anything, and the bride and groom should wait for it to be offered.
Now-a-days, the average cost of weddings is around $27,000 (which is a decline since the recession, as the average a few years ago was around $35K). If you live in a major city you can expect that price to increase by about 20%. [these are not exact stats]. These weddings are based on the fact that most have a budget of up to 6 incomes (bride, groom, and if both sets of parents are divorced; 4 parental families). That number may sound daunting, but I have heard it put an interesting way. Your wedding begins your marriage, that lasts at least 50 years. A $30,000 wedding day for a 50 year investment is only $1.64 per day. {I am not saying I agree or disagree with that approach, I just wanted to pass it along :)}
If you’re putting that much into a wedding, I sure hope you’re investing in a good photographer and videographer in order to make sure the memories last forever!
